I found these brilliant Valentines Cards and decided to make one for the whole world, Enjoy!

I found these brilliant Valentines Cards and decided to make one for the whole world, Enjoy!

I’ve been listening to a brilliant football podcast called The Football Ramble and they run a feature on funny footballing stories. I’ve submitted this one from when I was a widdle thing and thought it’d be a good idea to blog it too, Enjoy!
This is a story about how I destroyed a friends goalkeeper top when I was a weeun.
There was a big field in the middle of the suburban estate on which we all lived, circled by the back fences of the enclosing houses. All the kids would gather and play football, more often than not smash the ball against their fences, they presumably loved it.
One guy in particular was this large Italian chap who didn’t particularly care for us smashing his fence to bits everyday. So when the ball inevitably went over his fence he would very much enjoy not giving it back. Though one day he was shouting at us over the fence and a friend of mine sang the lyric “Golden brown, texture like sun” and he shouted back, “Yeah! Golden Brown!” and threw the ball back. I digress.
A friend of mine had a Man Utd goalkeeper top with Schmeichel on it. This was back in the early premiership years when Utd were unstoppable. For a reason I don’t remember I was wearing it and we were playing hide & seek.
A prime spot was hiding in the Italian man’s garden and I had disguised myself there. I climbed onto his fence (about 6 foot high) and sat on top to survey the surroundings. A momentary loss of balance caused me to slip from the fence catching the top on a jagged edge. I heard a horrible tear and I was left hanging like some hoisted cartoon villain. The head hole had come to the front and I was there with my face poking out unable to get down.
Besides being caught out I’d also ruined my mates favourite top. Ah well he was a United fan and so could obviously afford it.
Remember that pledge I made?
Well…ummm…yeah…it didn’t go as planned really…
I hit the floor running with great enthusiasm. The first week or so passed without incident and the pages were flying by with gusto. The book (which I shall come to) was a joy to read so there was no feeling of it being a grind.
The first sign of trouble presented itself one day in mid December. I had been at work and I was due to attend Popcorn Comedy that night with some friends near London Bridge. I decided to get the bus which would give me a good 20 minutes to get my bit done for the day.
I got on the bus and there were 2 problems:
1) The bus was full
2) The lights didn’t work
I had a conundrum. I didn’t have room to read my book and even if I did it wasn’t light enough to see the pages. As soon as I got to London Bridge I was due to meet up with some friends and sitting there reading a book would be massively rude and just a bit shit. I didn’t really know what to do so went on with my evening.
I had a lovely night as it transpires and met some fantastically cool people (off shoot of living in London) but there was a problem, I hadn’t read my book! It finally reached 11:30 and I had to make a dashing exit for fear of breaking my vow. So there I was, walking across London Bridge, intently reading a book. So absorbed was I that I almost walked into a lamp post. That night I started reading at 11:39 which turned out to be a signal flare to the monster of my wavering commitment.
The spectre of my rubbishness appeared again….the next day. I was due to attend a Yeah Yeah Yeahs gig in the city of my uni days, Bournemouth. I love Bournemouth, it has loads of trees and everything is just generally nice. It also has a balloon.
Anyway, that morning I had arranged to get a train to Poole for work, the perfect opportunity to get the 20 minutes done. Problem was the train was quite early and I was very tired. When I’m tired my brain becomes massively unipolar. Sleep is all I want and sleep is all I get. So I snoozed my way from London to Poole and the chance was gone. Long story short, the gig was great but I arrived back at my lodgings at…11:35. Again just enough time to get my task completed. Too close for comfort again.
With these scrapes avoided I reached day 19. It was a day of no particular note, to be honest with you I can’t remember a single thing about it. Everything muddled by like it does, I fondled moonbeams and such. I was lying in bed at 1am considering the averageness of the day when I realised something
I was distraught. 19 bloody days. That’s it. My brain is useless. I couldn’t remember to do this little thing. Ugh it stills annoys me thinking about it now. So with that failure did I give up reading my book? OF COURSE I DIDN’T! It would take more than this to stop me, I thought one missed day wasn’t a massive deal really and I was enjoying the book too much to care. So I persevered with the 100 days challenge with the intention of catching up the missing 20 minutes.
This leads me to review the book. I’ve never done a book review before and I’m not really good at reviewing something with any degree of analytical prowess. People go on about writing style and such like but more often than not it passes me by, same with camera shots in films, I’m usually too absorbed with the story to notice. So I’ll give it a whirl, making what I can of the way it’s written and such.
I bloody loved this book. I swear blind Nick Harkaway asked for a requirements document from my brain before writing it. When asked on twitter what the book was about I replied:
It really is a fantastic story which I got completely swept up in. I was told by the friend who recommended it that I would struggle with the first 200 pages as it’s a grind. I completely disagree. It was a bit slow but it’s all necessary. I have nothing but time for story tellers who aren’t afraid to take the time to establish their characters before they set them off on a journey. It’s important, to me anyway. It’s the same reason I enjoyed the Wire, all the characters were allowed time to grow and express themselves so when it came to changing them or throwing situations at them, you felt the weight of that sufficiently.
The characters in the Gone Away World are all joyous people from all regions of the human spectrum. I don’t want to tell you about them as it would tarnish the process of learning about them. Rest assured there’s someone there for everyone, all described in affectionate detail so by the time the story kicks off you feel though you’re among friends.
I’m always a bit edgy when it comes to things like pirates and ninjas. They have become diluted as talismans of awesome for some time now, same with monkeys. I tend to find them a little obvious now and tend to gravitate away from them. That said they’re appearance in this book are subtle and carefully considered. The pirates aren’t stupidly over the top, just piratey enough. I’m not too fussed about that really, I was more fearful on the use of ninjas. Luckily the ninjas were very narutoesque which is the way it should be. There are some stock ninjas but they don’t figure as much as the true ninjas, give it a read and you’ll see what I mean.
I won’t say anything about the story, which is handy in a book review, as I feel again that it’s there to be enjoyed. The whole thing is a magical journey which doesn’t need to me explain. I so want to gush about it but I won’t, I wouldn’t dare spoil the chance for someone to enjoy it like I did.
That said, we must remain even handed, it can’t all be roses and I do have one gripe. By the end I felt too many masks had fallen to the floor. It reminded me a little of Mission Impossible 2 in this respect. I could see why it was necessary but I felt a bit of a diminishing return as they fell, you’ll probably see what I mean. This is a very minor problem in the face of what is a fantastic reading experience.
You’ll notice I have said “I won’t say anything” quite a lot which makes for quite a thin review but I don’t know how to articulate what’s great about it without spoiling it so I’ll leave it to you to trust me, good luck. It really is a great great great great great (yes, 5) book. It has heart, soul and balls. Enough love to melt a grade A pencilneck’s* heart and enough fight to kick a grade A pencilneck’s* head clean off.
Read it. Please (I need more people to talk about it with).
So where does this leave us? I missed a couple more days between the 19th and finishing the Gone Away World. I’d finished it by the 28th of December and I’ve not read another one since. I chalk this up to the void week between xmas and going back to work where no one really does anything. I guess this was the real test and I have well and truly failed. Truth be told I’m not that bothered as I got to read this wonderful book and all I truly needed was a kick to start it.
Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to have completed my 100 days, but I’m not overly surprised that I haven’t done it, I’m just not that good at sticking to something like this, my attention wanders so easily. The aim was to read more and I think I’m more geed up to do so. I already have my next book lined up, in fact I’m about a third of the way through it. It’s the Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I have his Sandman comic series in first print and loved it to bits and the Graveyard Book is of a similar quality.
The main aim for me was to become a habitual reader and that is still my quest. I don’t have the attention span to stick to something on the day to day but I will definitely have a book on the go so to speak. I’m gonna get the bus home more too as it feel it is an environment I’m more likely to read in. The tube is the same but I’m only on it for about 20 minutes and it’s too disjointed.
So what have we learned? Reading is good and my attention span is crap. I think we all knew that anyway. Ah well. *shrugs*
* Read the book to find out what a grade A pencilneck is like
I thought it was about time to wrap this up. I didn’t wanna fall into my usual trap of leaving things unfinished, so here goes…
Gaz and I had been playing Rock Band for quite some time when Activision announced the impending Guitar Hero: World Tour. Rock Band had set the new standard with the full compliment of instruments and it was pretty obvious Activision weren’t gonna take that lying down. So what do all big companies do when faced with a good competitor? They copy them of course.
Now this in itself is an understandable gesture. Harmonix once again showed them a gap in the market, as they’re unable to spot em themselves and they made a competitor. Competition is a healthy thing in this environment as it only inspires people like Harmonix to do something better. And they did, Rock Band 2. Harmonix had obviously gotten wind of Activision’s plot (if you can call it that) and used the time to make a beefed up, polished off , leaner, meaner competitor. The stage was set.
GH:WT came out before RB2 (them’s your abbreviations) and Gaz and I were umming and arring on whether or not to buy it. For a long time it wasn’t immediately clear whether the GH:WT instruments would be backwards compatible and the RB ones would be forwards compatible. We didn’t wanna shell out more cash (and it was quite a lot) for a set of new bits and bobs that wouldn’t work with all the other games. In a move of frankly mind boggling sensibility, a governing body whose name I have forgotten ruled that Activision and EA should play nice and make their peripherals cross compatible. Hurrah! This enabled us to gauge our options safe in the knowledge that whatever we used would work on everything else.
As good as RB1 was, the drums were very loud and my GH3 guitar was really quite small. Gaz and I were a bit flush at the time and decided to upgrade our weapons to the latest and greatest. This decision lead us to the full version of GH:WT with new drums, guitar and microphone. In spite of whatever I might think about GH:WT now, I will still stick by these controllers as they are fantastic. The guitar was solid and reliable, so much so that I still use it now. The drums were a lot quieter and a lot bulkier which is quite handy when you’re bashing the shit out of them on a regular basis.
So with the arrival of GH:WT we stopped playing RB1 for a bit. Mainly because the instruments were great and we’d played RB1 to death and back. The new songs in GH:WT were a breath of fresh air with a couple of inspired choices among a large contingent of indifference. We’d been playing it for a while and something just wasn’t right. The nature of the problem became clear when RB2 came out.
RB2 isn’t really RB2. It’s more like RB1.5. A toned, polished version of Rock Band designed to bring that little bit more to the table in the face of competition. It worked. To be playing Rock Band again was a joy. It was when playing Rock Band 2 that we saw just how far GH:WT missed the point. It highlighted the fundamental difference in the core purpose of the respective games. RB (1 and 2) were designed to be multiplayer first and catered for single player whereas GH:WT is the complete opposite.
Everything about Rock Band was designed be as inclusive as possible. When playing a song in Rock Band, band members have the ability to help other members through a song. Pulling everyone together, fostering a group experience, helping you to feel like a band. Overdrive was implemented in a group fashion as well. Sections of the song had synchronous overdrive sections where everyone would get more overdrive if you all completed a section perfectly together. When overdrive was used, it counted towards a band multiplier, again encouraging group play. You were a band.
GH:WT had none of that. If one person failed, you all failed. You had one joined Star power (overdrive) pool allowing people to be greedy. There was no co-operation. You were almost fighting against each other in what was supposed to be a co-operative experience. It completely missed the point. You weren’t a band, you were group of people forced to play together. Some people may suggest thats what most real bands are like, but it certainly wasn’t Activision’s intention when it was made. It showed they didn’t get it at all. It was a one player game.
The lack of true core differences between RB1 and RB2 made lead you to question what the point of RB2 was. But aside from the polishing and tweaking there was another thing Harmonix did which showed the difference in the ethos of the two franchises. They allowed you import the songs from RB1 into RB2. This immediately doubled the track list and showed a desire for you to enjoy it. They knew they weren’t making a completely new game, so they gave you enough to make it worth it.
When you take it out of the game mechanic itself, RB2 was still eons better. The tour mode from RB1 was improved with different gigs in different locations. Giving you sense of moving forward as a band, again breeding a feeling of co-operation, a proper multiplayer experience. GH:WT just had a list of songs and said, go on, play that and fuck off.
Rock Band 2 won this battle by a country mile. I still play it today as it was designed from the ground up to be a enjoyable group experience. GH:WT is a single player game with the trappings of a multiplayer game.
This brings us pretty much up to the present and due to comparatively recent events I have come to a fork in the road. New versions of these games have come out since then and I’m fairly sure GH5 has addressed some of the problems I have highlighted above. I say fairly sure because I haven’t played it. After GH:WT I wasn’t that interested. The track list was forgettable and I wasn’t convinced they’d ever get it.
My apprehension was vindicated when news hit of a flurry complaints directed at GH5. Guitar Hero (since version 3) has placed an disproportionate amount of value in their rock star cameos and GH5 was no exception. During development they had secured the rights to include the late Kurt Cobain as a playable character in GH5. When the game launched it became apparent that you could use Kurt on any song on any instrument, effectively trampling over his memory. I thought this was a shame but no more than that. I didn’t expect any better from them thats for sure.
I thought this was isolated slip up until Activision released their new game Band Hero. A game designed to appeal to a broader spectrum of people with more poppy songs, fair enough, whatever. I wasn’t fussed until I saw they’d done it again, this time with the band No Doubt. Again I’m not overly fussed about No Doubt but it was the nature of Activision’s statement on the subject that hit me, I quote:
“Some of the world’s most popular and iconic artists have been featured in Guitar Hero as playable characters, and we are proud to count No Doubt among them. Activision has a written agreement to use No Doubt in Band Hero – an agreement signed by No Doubt after extensive negotiations with its representatives, who collectively have decades of experience in the entertainment industry. Pursuant to that agreement, Activision worked with No Doubt and the band’s management in developing Band Hero. As a result, Activision believes it is within its legal rights with respect to the use and portrayal of the band members in the game and that this lawsuit is without merit. Activision is exploring its own legal options with respect to No Doubt’s obligations under the agreement.”
This is a formally worded middle finger to anyone who values music beyond the almighty dollar. We’re doing what we want. Fuck you. I had intended to show a video illustrating this but Activision’s intervention has gone further to prove my point. A while ago I found a video clip of Band Hero showing Cobain and Johnny Cash (another legend fucked) being depicted singing YMCA. It truly shows how little Activision care about music. The fact they’ve had it pulled shows they care even less than that.
You may think I’m naive for thinking they should care. This is a valid point but I don’t expect them to care. I don’t expect anything from them, they’re twats. I only highlight this because I’ve seen how good it can be when they do care.
Harmonix had been working for some time on Beatles: Rock Band (BRB). I wasn’t a massive fan of the Beatles at the time but for a long time I’d meant to have a proper look at what they were like. I was stunned. BRB is something of true beauty. Everything about it was made with a true understanding of the music. Building on the solid foundation of Rock Band and placed into the magical world of the Beatles, a world I didn’t know before I played it. Here is the best example I can find, funnily enough not removed from the web. Maybe they’re proud of it.
Look at it. The use of colour, the gorgeous animation, the song itself. It’s an unbridled joy, a triumph. This is better than anything in any Guitar Hero game and it will stay with me forever. It’s probably the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in a video game, it shows what games are truly capable of.
Beatles Rock Band is a game made with real warmth, charm and respect. Made with love. Harmonix should be applauded for making something like this and it leads me to the decision and the grand point of the last 3 blogs on this subject.
I rarely make vitriolic statements like this but on this one I feel I should. This whole thing has showed me what can be achieved if we invest ourselves into what we make. Marvelous things can happen. If Harmonix can be bothered to respect the people they portray in their games, then I can be bothered to buy their games. Equally if Guitar Hero and it’s ilk can’t be bothered to respect those they portray, then why should I buy their games. It doesn’t take much and they don’t even want to do that for no other reason I can see than to not concede they made a mistake.
I might be wrong but Harmonix seem to make their music games with a heartfelt appreciation of their subject matter, Activision couldn’t give two shits, so fuck them.
I do wonder if I’ll extend this to anything released by Activision. Dolly steps I guess, I’ll be a fully principled human being one day.
In April I went on holiday to Japan. I didn’t really blog about it properly and took a ton of videos whilst I was there. I meant to make a video of the whole thing like I did with my skiing holiday a couple of years ago but lazy Jason is lazy Jason.
I’ve broken it down into 6 separate sections, here we go!
This is my tour of Shaun’s house in Japan.
My 1st proper day in Japan we went to Kamakura which is like old school Japan, Temples and all that caper
This is a montage of all the obvious touristy sites of Japan, gorgeous place
A breakdown of some of the oddball things I did and saw
A video diary of my Ramen Museum queueing experience
And finally, a short video of our last meal in a restaurant somewhere in Tokyo, I forget where.
And that’s it! safe to say I had an absolute riot and recommend everyone go.
Here’s my flickr gallery of Japan pictures
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8512511@N05/sets/72157617778158407/